1The Gift of Nothing
Perhaps the ultimate “screw you” present of all is the gift of nothing. Which says, “I hate you enough to spend money on NOT buying you a present.”
Ideal for the cheapest person in your life, the Tube Wringer is the only way to ensure someone gets every molecule of toothpaste out of the tube.
3The Belly Button Brush
Do you know someone who always has food in his (let’s face it, it’s almost always a guy) belly button? Well, the belly button brush is the gift for the man who has everything, except a clean navel. Support good hygiene with this great gift that says, “You are a disgusting pig, but I still care about you.”
4Bonsai Kitty Plush
You probably already know it’s a bad idea to give someone a pet for Christmas, but the Bonsai Kitty Plush is unique in that it provides the opportunity to say, “I know you love to torture animals, so here’s one that won’t result in animal control breaking down your door.”
No one wants to get coal in their stockings, even if it’s actually delicious black bubble gum. Let your loved ones know just how naughty you think they’ve been with these great coal gum balls. Now if only they were actually coal flavored…
6Chum Bucket Mints
Speaking of bad hygiene, is there any better way to tell someone they have terrible breath than to let them know that the smell of assorted fish parts would still be an improvement?
Here’s a way to tell someone they’re an absolute pig in bed while still encouraging them to keep at it. While Bacon Lube might be one of the most disgusting products ever created, it still has enough fans to be sold in a six-pack, so don’t be surprised if your recipient is actually thrilled with their new gift.
Seinfeld fans almost certainly remember the episode where George made up his own charity so he wouldn’t actually have to buy anyone in the office a gift. For those who aren’t clever enough to come up with their own charities, like George, though, Care4less.org is there for you. Just select one of the group’s six fake charities, enter your name and email, your friend’s name and email and the imaginary amount you want to send. Your buddy will then receive an email notifying them of the donation you made in their name, along with a link to the website for the “charity” you selected.