7 Naughty Evolutionary Theories

1Why do women have orgasms?

Sure, orgasms feel great for both men and women, but when you think about things from an evolutionary standpoint, it’s easy to see why men need to have orgasms, but not women. After all, having vaginal muscles tighten up and making the woman feel good don’t play any role in impregnation. In fact, many women have had multiple children without ever experiencing an orgasm in their lives.

One theory states that women have orgasms only because men have orgasms and, like male nipples, they are something that both sexes develop even if only one gender needs them. Other researchers argue that because orgasms feel good, having orgasms makes women more interested in sex, thus making them want to have sex more often, which would make them more likely to get pregnant. Yet another theory states that when women orgasm anytime between a minute before or forty-five minutes after the man ejaculates, their bodies retain more sperm, increasing the likelihood of conception.

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2Why do women often take so much longer to orgasm than men? Also, why can they orgasm more than once per encounter?

A lot of evidence points to the idea that our ancestors loved orgies. This was beneficial biologically since having more sperm in the reproductive tract of a woman’s body will increase her chance of getting pregnant. So, if women can orgasm over and over again, often requiring lengthy sexual encounters to orgasm, they would be more likely to take on more than one partner in a sex session, thereby increasing their chances of getting pregnant.

Macaques and chimpanzees, some of our closest biological relatives, also participate in group sex until the female achieves orgasm.

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3Why do women make more noise than men during sex?

This same group sex concept also explains why women tend to make more noise during sex. It served as a notification to any other men in the area that the woman was going at it and that they might want to jump in there when the first gentleman was done.

There was another benefit to women copulating with as many men as possible when trying to conceive. If no one knows who fathered a specific child, then the entire group will be more active in raising the child and men won’t feel like they can harm the children of their competitors. Horses take a similar approach when a mare suspects she may be pregnant, since she mates with all males in the area so no stallion will harm the foal once it is born, because it could just as well be his.

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4Why are men's testicles so big compared to their other reproductive parts?

Again, it goes back to our orgy-loving ancestors. In monogamous animal species, like the gibbon or gorilla, testicles are rather small in relation to body size, but that’s not the case in humans. In non-monogamous animals, the testicles have to be larger so the men can produce more sperm in order to better compete with other potential fathers when it comes to whose sperm reaches the woman’s egg first.


5Why do women have breasts?

Yes, women need breasts to feed their infant children, but why do humans have such large, bulbous breasts compared to the relatively flat teats that most animals have? Also, why do human breasts maintain this shape even when the woman isn’t nursing?

There are a few theories about this one. One suggestion regarding the shape of the breasts says that while most animals have a nose in line with their mouth, humans have a nose that protrudes much further. Therefore, our babies would have a hard time breathing if they were pressed up against a mostly flat surface like the chest of a nursing gorilla. Another theory says that breasts are all about male pleasure and reproduction. That’s why they began to develop as women began walking upright. Whereas most primates have a great view of the female’s reproductive organs, particularly the fatty deposits on their butts, humans look more at the top half of each another’s bodies. As a result, evolution gave women fatty deposits on their chests that resemble the buttocks, exciting males so they would still want to get it on. This idea is backed up by the fact that women only start to develop breast tissue as they hit puberty, and as their fertility decreases their breasts begin to sag. So, breasts might also serve as a handy fertility signal.

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6Why Are Men So Obsessed With Breasts?

Breasts are technically sexual organs since they are tied in with the reproductive cycle, but they have no correlation to a woman’s ability to get pregnant during a sexual encounter. Also, a woman is always able to feed her baby regardless of the size of her breasts. So, why are men so obsessed with breasts, particularly large ones?

Again, they could just be a way to attract men to fertile women, as stated above, but Larry Young, a professor of psychiatry at Emory University, has a different theory. He suggests that humans are programmed to love breasts since they rely on them so much for food. As straight women start to become more interested in men and lose their fascination with the female form, straight men continue to be fascinated by the very things that once gave them sustenance.

Additionally, when a woman’s nipples are played with, oxytocin is released into her brain, regardless of whether it’s a baby feeding or a man trying to turn her on. The end result is that the man can excite a woman and get her focused exclusively on him the same way she would be focused on her infant if she were breast feeding, making her more interested in copulation and possible reproduction.


7Why do humans kiss?

90% of cultures participate in mouth to mouth kissing , including bonobos. Aside from the fact that it feels nice and helps you feel closer to your partner, there is another benefit, and this one explains why the behavior caught on from an evolutionary standpoint. Mouth to mouth kissing builds up our immune systems by exposing each participant to the diseases of the other.

Scientists believe that this is particularly important when it comes to the Human Cytomegalovirus (HCMV), an infection that can pose serious risks to the woman’s offspring if it is acquired during particular time periods. This virus is easily exchanged via mouth to mouth kissing. Therefore, because females are mostly able to control when they kiss, if they become infected with a strain of HCMV at the certain time, they are able to protect their offspring from the threat of infection when the baby is in its most vulnerable stages of development.


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