1Are You My Daddy?
Why bother embarrassing yourself on Maury when you can quickly and discreetly ask everyone in town if they’re the real father?
2Boob It's What's For Dinner
There’s no denying that babies love breasts almost as much as adult men, this shirt helps remind people of the bountiful bosom’s most critical role. It’s also a great way for breast-feeding advocates to make a point without having to remove their shirt in public.
3Insert Titty Here
If your babe isn’t polite enough to quietly beg for boobs for dinner, this shirt will help him demand he get some delicious milk right now. How many adult men secretly want this shirt to come in their size?
4I Spent 9 Months In The Hole
You think you’re tough? Consider the fact that this adorable child just spent nine months in a dark, tightly confined space only to escape through a hole that was once the size of a walnut.
5I Must Have Been Adopted
If you’ve ever wondered how two ugly people could create such an angelically beautiful baby, now you know it’s through the miracle of adoption.
6Daddy's Little Squirt
Plenty of people will nickname your babe “squirt,” but only one person had the honor of actually squirting out this miracle of life.
7Mommy Drinks Because I Cry
When “mommy’s little monster” is more than just a cute nickname for your brat, tell the world how you really feel about your little bundle of terror.
8I Heart My Teddy
A great pun dedicated to one of history’s greatest men. Anyone who loves teddy bears has Theodore Roosevelt to thank for the clever title, as the plush bears were named for him, making just about every child a fan of the president.
9I Drink ‘Till I Puke
Finally alcoholics will realize just how much they have in common with your little angel. Of course, milk spit up is quite a bit cuter than the KFC/whiskey combination that comes from a drunk’s vomit.
10You've Got Male
People are always guessing the wrong sex of youngsters, but with this clever shirt, everyone will know your little man is indeed an XY child.
11I Void Warranties
A perfect warning for any geek baby. Let the world know that while you love your little one, he or she doesn’t understand the concept of warranty exclusions.
It seems every child has to have a dinosaur onesie, but this is the only one that accurately reflects the correct archeological time periods between a few of the most commonly referenced dinos.
13My First Jackson Pollock
When are splashes and stains art? When they’re on canvas. With this cute onesie your babe can develop an appreciation for the arts as she spills all over her clothes.