1The Break up Survival Kit
Break ups ($ 1.49) may be messy, but this playful, creative kit helps a girl cope with style. The 32-page book offers empowering advice about moving on, and comes with a heart eraser, self-affirming mirror compact with a comb, stickers to “deface” old photographs, a “Do Not Cross” caution tape for tying up the telephone when temptation strikes, and a poster to remind her of the top 10 reasons she is better off without him.
2 Sarcastic Candy Hearts
Sometimes love is grand. But often it is cruel, evil, and cuts like a knife. These candy hearts ($6.99) have some of the most dejected, dysfunctional, and dumped on messages ever, and they make perfect Anti-Valentine gifts.
3 T-Shirt
Anti-Valentine’s Day designs on t-shirts ($26.00), stickers, magnets, and apparel for those who don’t like Valentine’s Day.
4 The Emo Anti-Valentine's Day Collection
Flowers die. Candy makes you fat. This year save some money by saying no to the greeting card companies conspiracy. If you’re one of the millions of people who don’t have a date for the 14th, Vitamin Records has your back! This compilation features fourteen hardcore, string quartet tributes to some of emo’s most legendary artists ($13.86). Love blows! This doesn’t!
5Vibrator
The future is already upon us people. Take a look at OhMiBod ($69.00). This is a vibrator that is powered by your iphone/ipod and happens to detect the beat of your music and well, vibrates accordingly. Now you can take the Wilson-Phillips song and turn it into more than a tear jerker. Amazing, and completely hilarious for Anti-Valentine Gifts.
6Don't Drink & Dial Flip-Flops
Heels and drinking are never a good combination. The flip flops ($10) are a much better option.
7Voodoo Doll
This 9″ tall, stuffed cloth Voodoo Doll ($7.39) is endorsed by a couple of witch doctors and a guy named Doug. Use it to reward nice people by sticking a white pin in the “Win Lottery” area, or punish those who have forsaken you with a black pin in the “Migraine” area. Good for those awful ex boyfriends or girlfriends.
8 Did U Fart Anti Valentine Classic Thong
Whether you’re being eaten alive by angst, or you simply want to show your inner drama queen, this tragic graphic is for you. Perfect for drama and theater buffs!
9Moshi Girlfriend Pillow
The girlfriend pillow ($16.95) is a very comfortable pillow that imitates women contour. If you can’t sleep without a girlfriend unless you have some breast to support your head, this is the right pillow for you.
10Cold Hearted Bitch
Love can certainly turn you into one. Or alternatively, tell the ex-object of your affection how you really feel about her on Valentine’s Day! The phrase Cold Hearted Bitch is hand stamped on 3/4″ sterling silver hearts.
11 The Ex Unique Knife Set
It’s a wicked cool design for a knife holder and certainly a lot more edgy than the standard old block of wood. The Ex Knife Set ($99.89) is the perfect gift for your friend who just got single!
12USB Humping Dog
Simply the best-selling gag gift on the market. WARNING: Only give this to someone with a sense of humor. The USB Humping Dog ($9.95) is available in Doberman, Husky, Boxer, and Beagle for $9.95. Hey, at least someone will get laid on Valentine’s day.